How to Fight Nice With Your Partner and Resolve Issues

Sometimes we can't help but to fight with our partners when arguments come up that upset us or things happen that we feel we need to discuss. But there is a right way and a wrong way to fight with your partner. The wrong way will not help you get issues resolved in your relationship, but using these tips for fighting nice (the right way) you will find that both partners get heard and are able to efficiently fix problems.

Never attack your partner when your angry. Fighting nice means being respectful to one another. If you are mad at your partner, let him know, but in a nice way. Try sitting your partner down and explaining to him why you're upset. Did he leave the house a mess? Was he out late the night before? Did he forget to feed the animals? Whatever your reason for being upset with your partner (be it small or large) simply tell him nicely. Start by saying, 'I'm upset that...' and finish with whatever it is your partner did or didn't do. Speaking kindly, rather than attacking and yelling, will get you a lot further and avoid heated arguments.

2

Never accuse your partner. When you are angry at your partner try not to accuse him by using words such as 'you never' and 'you always'. Using the word 'you' when speaking to your partner, points the finger solely at him and makes him defensive immediately. While it is understandable that your mad and your partner needs to know this, it's also important for him to hear you out. Try using words like 'I feel like you...', 'Sometimes, I think you...', or 'I am upset because...'. By taking the blame completely off your partner and using the word 'I', you are saying that it's you who feels a certain way and you're giving him the sense that you are open to taking partial blame. After all, it takes two people to be wrong. No one person is right all the time.

3

Allow your partner the chance to explain when your upset. Don't keep yelling at your partner after you've told him you're upset. Simply explain that your hurt, angry, mad...at something he did or didn't do, and stand there quietly; letting him tell you why a situation happened. When you allow your partner a chance to respond to your anger, you're opening up the lines of communication and learning to fight nice. Fighting nice means give and take. You tell your partner how you feel and then allow him in return to explain himself and how he feels. If you yell and complain about your partner and the situation, it will only cause the argument to get worse, and nothing will be resolved. Try to listen as best you can and keep your voice calm.

4

Tell your partner what you'd like from him next time. In order to fight nice and resolve issues, your partner needs to know why something upset you and what he can do next time so it doesn't happen again. Some people do not realize when they've upset someone. This tends to happen a lot in relationships because either one partner or the other expects that their mind will be read or that a partner will just know their needs. Fighting nice means expressing your needs and wants in a positive way so that your partner knows what you expect out of them. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want so that you aren't let down or angry again next time. Just make sure to be nice when asking.

5

Be sure to apologize if you upset your partner with hurtful words or actions. In fact, fighting nice means avoiding hurtful words or actions if possible. While it's easy to say things in the heat of the moment, it's impossible to take it back after all is said and done. So try to be the bigger person and say your sorry. A meaningful apology and even a hug help to make fights between partners better. When you can let go of the fight by making amends with each other, your relationship will be even stronger. Both partners will recognize that your relationship is strong enough to get over obstacles and that you can make it through just about anything. Just remember to treat your partner the way you'd like to be treated and apologize for mistakes if you were in the wrong.