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| MR.James Obedi |
The times are changing is an expression that is often used but not all change is good. For marriages, the changes are expressed in ever increasing numbers of divorces. Why do so many marriages end in divorce nowadays? In fact, if we study the data over the last hundred years you will find that rising divorce rates are nothing new.
The Statistics of Divorce
If you look at the statistics since the beginning of last Century, you will find that a very small percentage of marriages ended in divorce up to the 1920's. There was then a steady increase throughout the 40's and 50's but then there was a huge spike during the 60's and 70's. Actually, from the 80's to the beginning of the 90's, the rate slowed significantly and even fell downwards by the end of the 90's. But it is on the rise once more this Century.
So, as you can appreciate there is nothing new about a rising trend in divorces.It doesn't matter so much the percentage as the shear numbers of families affected by divorce due to the much higher population.
Which Groups are More likely to get Divorced
First of all, the current divorce rate in the US is anywhere between 40% and 50% depending on the source. That is a pretty sad statistic - almost 1 in 2 marriages will end up in divorce! The vast majority of these divorces are couples that married when they were between 20 and 24, followed by those under 20 years of old - not entirely surprising.
Another alarming statistic is that the 40 to 50% divorce rate is for first time marriages. If we look at second and third marriages then the rate goes up to 60 - 67% and 73 - 74% respectively. So I guess, if it didn't work out the first time for you then there is less hope the second or third time.
Why are so Many Couples Getting Divorced?
If we look at the social mentality changes of the last hundred years ago, we might get some clues. All throughout the reign of Queen Victoria in Britain, from 1837 to 1901, there were not many divorces as the Victorian era was one of high values and morals. In other words, you were married for good or for bad but you didn't get divorced - it wasn't the right thing to so!
Society was a more liberal in the "roaring" 20's than in the Victorian era, so there was a sharp increase in divorces then that continued up until the 50's. Not surprising then, that the "swinging" 60's and was the start of an enormous increase in divorces. These were decades that were each marked by rapid social change, liberty, daring, rebels, peace and love, protests, youth movements, etc
The divorce rate in the 80's and 90's dropped off as I said; but why was this? These were probably the least dynamic decades of the last Century. It was a time of new opportunities and wealth for many that saw the rise of the yuppies, or "young upwardly-mobile professional." They were a class of young people that put off marriage or raising children as their careers and making money came first.
Divorces in the 21st Century
So, divorces are once more sharply rising in this Century. What are the reasons and causes for this decades rise in the divorce rate? There have been many studies done about this subject and the number one reason that came out of it all was money. Financial problems is cited as the main concern of many couples who are struggling trying to balance a home life when both are working, or worse both are out of jobs.
Other reasons are poor communication, a lack of commitment to the marriage, infidelity, a change in priorities, addictions / substance abuse, physical / sexual abuse, and finally, a lack of conflict resolution skills. Of course, there are probably hundreds of reasons; individual reasons can be unique and complex and are beyond the scope of a mere article. But my personal perspective on the subject is that the main reason behind a lot of divorces is the poor communication and a lack of conflict resolution skills.
